Only Team Worth Biting Your Nails

For giggles, I PhotoChopped my way into Mr. Zetterberg's life, and [already funny] wedding photo. What a dashing striped duo!
It's a miracle I have any semblance of fingernails after the Wings' game 7 against the Sharks Thursday (and I'm not a nail biter). I didn't grow up a Wings fan - and I generally never cared much for sports. In middle school I had a brief encounter with volleyball, whined my way through summer tennis camp in high school and turned down the cross country coach's suggestion I give running a shot (I think he was insinuating it's the only sport wherein my gangling body could earn any marginal success).

When my family uprooted from Virginia Beach and settled in Mid-Michigan during my awkward middle-school years, it was difficult to ignore the sea of red and white that would take over our school when the Wings made it to playoffs. Prior to moving to the mitten, my understanding of hockey was limited to what I'd seen in The Mighty Ducks. I probably couldn't have told you if they scored goals or baskets, but I took note that no other sport was as exhilarating to watch as hockey - if nothing else for the requisite fist flailing. Our tube was typically tuned in for playoff games and having made it to the playoffs for 20 consecutive years, the Red Wings have certainly earned the rights to Hockeytown.

My athletic prowess certainly has not developed like my interest in watching the Wings, save for a brief burst in my sophomore year at Grand Valley when I maintained a steady gym routine. It was fall semester when I (a) doubted my preternatural metabolism (b) wanted to spend time wooing Ryan, a [then] GV Lacrosse player. I'm planning on a hula hoop class for this month and, beyond that, my athleticism is limited to what I like to call recreational eating [see: throwing table manners and caution to the wind in the presence of hot dogs, cookies and all things slathered in butter].

I did woo the lacrosse player who helped me finally learn more about the foreign world of sports, and I have been genuinely excited to cheer on the best (and best looking) team in the NHL. I've even made it to a few games at the Joe. Who doesn't like drinking an $8 beer with a stranger's knees digging into their head while shouting at the top of your lungs for a consistently awesome team?


I appreciate other sports, but for different reasons: football has Super Bowl commercials, and soccer has devastatingly handsome soccer players. Sports stats largely sound like another language to me, and I can't get behind the yelling in Sports Center. I am also still confounded by most sport culture. In a nutshell, comedian Whitney Cummings expresses my feelings best:




1 comment:

  1. Ohh Virginia Beach! I occasionally watch soccer and football with my friends, but I'm not much of a sports buff. P.S. That's a pretty good photoshopping job! I was about to comment on the stripes.

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